Living Your Gender Values
With the recent political attacks on our humanity, things are getting worse for the trans community in our country. As a sector that has historically been and is currently positioned to support and serve vulnerable people and communities, and a sector that employs many people who are queer or trans or part of the LGBTQ community, we need to take a minute to think about how we are holding ourselves accountable to our trans communities. Now is an important time to be bold and clear about who you are as an organization or individual and what your values are—a time to be more explicit than ever about what you support, what you value, and what you are unwilling to compromise.
Often in these moments of political attack—because let’s be clear—we have been here many times before with different communities being the target, people who are outside of the targeted group resort to asking, “what can I do for you?” Today, I encourage you to reframe that question to focus on yourself. What am I comfortable with? What do I want to support? How can I align my practices with my values? How do I want to be a part of creating a world where everyone is safe? Here are some practices and strategies for you to consider.
Make sure there are bathrooms that anyone can use. Support restaurants, cafes, and bars that have all gender restrooms and let them know that you support them because of that. If you are someone that books spaces for your organization or coordinates the logistics for events, ensure that all venues you utilize for the organization for trainings/workshops/meetings/retreats/conferences have all- gender bathrooms. If they don’t, see if you can cover the bathroom signs with all gender bathroom signs while you are there. If you do not book spaces, take note when places do not have inclusive restrooms and speak up to those who manage those logistics. It is important to change the narrative of what is normal and what people are comfortable with and to let establishments and/or your organization know when you notice it as a part of that narrative shift. Make it about values, not trans people: Instead of “we have a trans person on staff and we want them to be comfortable here,” think of it as “we value inclusivity and access, and we want to work in spaces with the same values.”
If you are cisgender, include your pronouns on your email signature and whenever you make name tags. Introducing yourself with your pronouns can make it feel safer for trans and nonbinary people to introduce themselves with their pronouns. Make it about values, not trans people: Instead of introducing yourself with your pronouns or adding them to your nametag because trans people do it, do it because you know that gender is not binary, that there are more than two genders, and that you can’t assume someone’s gender. Do it because you want to know how to refer to the people around you and because you want them to know how to refer to you.
Use a critical lens to start noticing ways that you are upholding gendered narratives in your personal and professional life. Be curious about how those narratives are connected to perpetuating cisheteropatriarchy and to maintaining a green light for the current political moves that are happening. Does your organization have a dress code? Is it gendered? Do you attend gendered sporting events? Are there sports you could support that are inclusive of all genders, such as roller derby? Do your kids play on a gendered team? Are there co-ed teams available? Can you ask for one? Make it about values, not trans people: What do you want to be upholding? What narratives do you want to disrupt?
Support trans and nonbinary makers and artists. Buy their art, have their goods in your silent auctions, give gift cards from trans-owned businesses in your area, have visual representations of diverse genders on your office walls, and listen to podcasts and read books by trans authors and creators to normalize their existence in your life. Make it about values, not trans people: Who do you want to be learning from, listening to, and engaging with? What perspectives make your world deeper and more meaningful?
You living your gender values and actively practicing them—especially now—makes the world a safer place for everyone. What are you as an individual or as an organization doing to practice your values in a time when being explicit and clear is so important?
